Excerpts from the Sekrit Diary of Ianto Jones by Sulla

Title: Excerpts from the Sekrit Diary of Ianto Jones
Author: Sulla
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Rating: Mature
Warnings:  Don’t read somewhere where you might have to explain what you are laughing about.
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 7800 (total for 9 segments)

Summary:

We all know Ianto keeps a journal.  What we don’t know is what is in it.

Why You Should Read This:

This is laugh-out-loud funny.  I mean it.  I laughed out loud rereading it just now.  For instance:

April XX, 200X

Attire: Black on black Prada.

World in Danger of Imploding: 95% probability. However, armageddon averted before tea.

Alien Contact: 32 time-displaced ancient Greek men and youths.

Rift Activity: Moderate to severe.

Structural damage: ceiling collapse in greenhouse – result of riftquake.

Cleaned: Vaults, pantry, interrogation cells, containment cells.

Restocked: Lube. Air freshener. Low on milk and again on lube – see notes for details. Must inquire on purchasing industrial-sized portions.

Notes: Rift activity apparently result of temporal ripples from event earlier in Cardiff timeline, possibly dating back to late 17th century. Imminent destruction tending as usual to bring out the worst in Owen. Must once again scrub brain after yet another proposition of end-of-the-world orgy. Must remember to give Jack a good swift kick for seriously considering idea. Ancient Greeks seem to have same instinct – at peak of rift activity, Hub resembled back room of a gay nightclub. Upon successful closing of rift, was frogmarched by Jack into his office, bent over desk, shagged so thoroughly will not walk straight for days. Running out of excuses to rest of the team for bow-legged gait, suspect claim of weekend bull-riding was not believed.

It is a good idea to heed the warning above.  Do you really want to explain about the industrial sized lube to a co-worker, or your boss?

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